so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
