seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize