why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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