Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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