Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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