the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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