3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....