Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?