is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
