I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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