I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
