3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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