this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
