This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
