Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize