I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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