Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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