Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
