id be glad to
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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