i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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