omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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