got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
