Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
