The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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