Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love having hate sex.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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