Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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