he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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