I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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