The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
