Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
