The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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