My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize