Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id be glad to
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
