You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
