The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
