can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
