But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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