sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
