i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
