doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
