you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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