morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
