Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize