i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
