to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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