where am i from again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
