I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As shirtless as possible
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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