my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
