I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize