I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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