I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
