I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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