i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
