But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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