Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
