im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.