I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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